


I Miss You

by angstcentral



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Clexa endgame always, Drugs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Flashbacks, Heavy Angst, Kidnapping, Loss of Virginity, Sad Lexa, its a lot of angst guys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 12:15:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10513581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstcentral/pseuds/angstcentral
Summary: Clarke went missing five years ago. Lexa has never been the same. They were childhood sweethearts. They were the couple everyone dreams of...until Clarke was taken without a trace.Lexa never forgot her. And she never gave up looking for the blonde. What happened to her? Was she taken? Is she alive?What happens if the love of her life is found five years later? How do they rebuild the pieces of their life together?





	1. Chapter 1

She’s been missing for four years, almost five. Nothing has been the same since Clarke Griffin was taken. Lexa has never been the same.

Clarke was 17 and Lexa was 19 when it happened. They’d been dating officially for two years. They were childhood best friends who became high school sweethearts. They were the couple everyone knew was going to get married and stay together forever. And they would have..if only Clarke was still here.

+++

_7 Years Ago_

Clarke is 15 and Lexa is 17. It’s February of Clarke’s freshman year and Lexa’s junior year of high school. Clarke and Lexa grew up next door neighbors. They’re parents are best friends. They grew up together and somewhere along the way they fell in love.

Clarke isn’t much of a partier. She’s shy and too sweet for this world but Lexa convinces her to come out for the night. Lexa parties a bit. She is a really good student though and works hard to get straight A’s. Lexa wants to be a writer. Every night she writes for two hours. 

Clarke wants to be an artist. Her parents built her an art studio in the basement a few years back. Every night she paints for two hours...while Lexa writes beside her. They’re the perfect match. Everyone tells them they should be together. 

Clarke is too shy to make a move. Clarke has had kisses before. Luna Rivers kissed her once after a movie date. Clarke told her they should be just friends after that. She just didn’t feel the spark. Her and Luna are good friends now.

Then there was Emori, John’s new girlfriend. Emori madeout with Clarke during 7 minutes in heaven at the first high school party. A few minutes later, Clarke introduced Emori to John and the rest is history.

So Clarke has kissed people before but it never felt like this. 

Lexa and her are outside. They were chatting and laughing, using eachother’s hugs and the alcohol to keep them warm. That’s when the laughter ended and Lexa started staring at her lips. Lexa kisses her sweetly. Her lips taste like rum. It feels nice. It feels how it’s suppose to.

Lexa breaks the kiss with a dopey smile on her face.

“How do you feel?” Lexa ask nervously. She figured out she is in love with Clarke awhile ago. It just took her a hell of a long time to tell Clarke that.

“I can’t feel my toes.” Clarke mumbles.

Lexa chuckles at Clarke’s random admission. 

“Oh and I love you.” Clarke whispers softly. Lexa’s eyes shoot up.

“You love me? Like..love, love?”

“Love love. In love.” Clarke mumbles nervously. Lexa’s mouth erupts into a smile.

“I love you too.” Lexa smiles and kisses Clarke again. After a bit more, kissing Clarke breaks the kiss and rests her forehead against Lexa’s.

“God I could do that forever.” Clarke mumbles. Lexa smiles and hums along.

“We only have the rest of our lives.” Lexa says softly before kissing the blonde soundly.

If only Lexa was right.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day Clarke was taken flashback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning : lots of angst. clarke's kidnapping flashback.
> 
> i also want to let readers know that clarke wasn't raped by her kidnapper. somebody asked in the comments so i wanted to clarify that.

_Present Day_

Lexa stares at her novel with empty sad eyes. It was just named a bestseller. It’s wildly popular. It’s called “I Miss You.”

It’s all about Clarke, all about her disappearance. Lexa shakes her eyes as tears begin to fall. Her friends say it’s not healthy. Everyone tells her she needs to move on.

But she can’t. Clarke was it for her. The day she lost Clarke is the day Lexa lost herself. She remembers finding out about Clarke’s disappearance like it was yesterday. How could she not? She replays it in her head everyday.

+++

_About 5 Years Ago_

Lexa pumps the gas while Clarke hums along to tunes on the radio. Lexa smiles at her girlfriend. They are going on a road trip over Clarke’s spring break. Clarke wants to see California beaches. She wants to see Hollywood and make love to her girlfriend in fancy hotel beds. 

How could Lexa deny her girlfriend? Clarke begged her parents and they happily agreed. They loved Lexa. Lexa is like their second daughter...I mean eventually she will be anyways. Everyone knows Lexa and Clarke are going to get married after college. Their parents only wish is that they wait until after college. If they wait until Clarke graduates, the Griffins and Woods offered to pay for the wedding in full and for a new apartment.

So they’re waiting. Even though both Lexa and Clarke desperately want to elope once Clarke hits 18.

“Baby, I have to pee. Want anything from the diner?” Clarke says softly. Lexa is exhausted for the drive. She could really use a coffee.

“Actually can you grab me some coffee? It’s been a long drive.”

“You got it baby.” Clarke sweetly leans up and kisses Lexa soundly. “Maybe I’ll get some pie too. I’m craving some cherry pie.”

“Whatever you want love.” Lexa sweetly calls out. Clarke winks at her and says she’ll be back in a minute. If only that were the truth.

Lexa finishes pumping the gas and hops into the driver’s seat, waiting for Clarke to get back. Lexa moves the car into a parking spot and patiently waits for her girlfriend. 1 minutes turns to 10 minutes and Lexa is getting antsy.

It’s probably just a long bathroom line, Lexa reasons. Lexa changes the radio station and waits some more for her girlfriend. 5 more minutes pass and no Clarke. Lexa decides to call her girlfriend. No response. Lexa frowns because Clarke’s phone immediately goes to voicemail. Clarke’s phone is fully charged too. She’s been charging it in the car charger for a few hours now, Lexa remembers.

The brunette has a bad feeling about all of this so she gets out of the car and walks into the truck stop. The diner is decently sized for a truck stop. It’s lunch time so there’s a rush of truckers and town regulars around. Lexa looks around for Clarke to no avail.

She checks the bathroom but the blonde isn’t there either. Now, she’s starting to freak the fuck out. Lexa calls Clarke again. And again. She hurries outside and looks around. All she sees are a bunch of trucks and a few cars. No Clarke.

Lexa goes back inside and shows the waitress Clarke’s photo. The waitress remembers her. Lexa is relieved for a quick second until she hears the waitress’ next sentence.

“Yeah I remember her. She was in here a few minutes ago. Poor girl was really sick. Her boyfriend was really worried about her.” The waitress, chomping on gum, doesn’t realize what she’s just said.

Lexa’s heart starts pounding. No. No. This can’t be happening.

“No, you’re wrong. Are you sure it was this girl?!” Lexa desperately shoves the phone in the waitress’ face. 

“Yeah. I saw that star tattoo on her collarbone right there.” The waitress points to the tattoo in Lexa's picture. Her and Clarke just got matching tattoos on the road trip. their parents are going to kill them but it was worth it. Now Lexa knows for sure it was Clarke that was taken. The waitress looks nervous, catching on to the worry on this random girl’s face. “Is everything okay miss? I’m sure her boyfriend will make sure she’s okay.”

“No! Fuck, she doesn’t have a boyfriend! That’s my girlfriend! She came into use the bathroom and get a coffee. She wouldn’t have to wander off with some man! What do you mean she was sick?! Where did they go?! Which direction?!” Lexa is full on screaming right now. Her face is red and her whole body feels weak.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Marty!” Once the waitress realizes what just happened, she screams out for the owner. Lexa shakes her head and runs outside. She starts pulling at truckers doors, trying to open them. Someone took Clarke. Her body is moving purely on its own. Her whole body is in shock. One second they were fine. Clarke was right there with her, singing to the radio. It was normal. They were happy. Now she’s gone.

Lexa collapses on her knees, her skin bleeding as the rocky concrete digs into her skin. She pulls at her hair and screams. This can’t be happening. This cannot be happening. Her Clarke is gone. Her Clarke has been taken.

+++

_Present Day_

Lexa tries to shake the tears away. It never made any sense. One second Clarke was inside the diner and the next she was gone, scooped away by some mysterious man. 

The waitress wasn’t able to give a good id on the male who claimed to be her boyfriend. The diner was old too so there were no cameras. The police assumed it was a trucker and immediately started checking trucks on the interstate. But nothing was found.

Clarke’s phone was found smashed in the diner’s back parking lot as well as her purse and wallet. Clarke and Lexa’s parents flew over immediately. They stayed for months, but no new evidence came up. 

The cops theory is that the man who took Clarke drugged her coffee while she was waiting for them to box up her cherry pie. In a matter a seconds, minutes, Clarke was taken. Cops believe this man was an experienced in this. Clarke may not have been his only victim.

Lexa was distraught. She moved from their hometown in West Virginia to Nevada, where Clarke was last seen. She transferred schools and launched her own investigation once police gave up.

After college, Clarke and Lexa’s childhood best friend Raven Reyes moved to Nevada. She claimed that she was offered a kickass job she couldn’t refuse. But deep down, Raven moved here to make sure Lexa was okay. Lexa has completely shut herself off since Clarke’s kidnapping. 

Jake and Abby got divorced a few years after Clarke’s kidnapping. It was too much for the couple to take. A few months ago, Abby died. She had a heart attack. It killed Lexa even more. 

“Lexa, let’s go out on Saturday.” Raven says softly. Raven moved in with Lexa once she saw how poorly the brunette was taking care of herself.

“You know I’m busy Saturday, Raven.” Lexa mumbles sadly, looking at the window. Saturday is the 5 year anniversary of Clarke’s disappearance. She goes to the diner where Clarke was taken. It’s almost as if she is punishing herself. Maybe she is. Lexa always believed she could have done more. Lexa blames herself partially.

“Lexa..” Raven tries but Lexa just shakes her head. 

“Just give me this one day Raven. I have to be there.” Lexa says firmly, emotion thick in her tone. Raven nods, squeezing her shoulder before walking away.

Lexa wipes furiously at her tears and throws her book against the wall. She punches the wall and pulls out a cigarette. She started smoking after Clarke was taken. It calms her nerves a little.

Lexa puffs at her cigarette aggressively when her phone dings, notifying her of a text message. It’s a text from Miller, her friend on the force.

 **From Miller :** We have a new development in Clarke’s case. Come to the station ASAP.

Lexa is frozen. There haven’t been any leads in years. And now?.. Lexa gasps and sprints out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts???


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback to Lexa and Clarke in love. Lexa finds out what the new development is in Clarke's case.

_6.5 Years Ago_

Lexa and Clarke are relaxing in having a movie night. They’ve been dating for five months now and it’s been absolutely perfect. 

“I love this scene.” Clarke mumbles as she snuggles deeper into Lexa’s embrace. Clarke is laying on top of Lexa. Lexa smiles and rubs Clarke’s back with her arms.

“Mm I love _you_.” Lexa smiles and Clarke looks away from the TV and down at her girlfriend.

“You’re so cute.” Clarke giggles, leaning down to kiss Lexa softly. Lexa immediately deepens the kiss and Clarke lets out a surprised squeak.

Clarke positions herself so that she’s straddling her girlfriend and it immediately arouses both girls. Clarke threads her fingers in Lexa’s curly hair as Lexa’s hands reverently roam the blonde’s backside.

Clarke and Lexa haven’t had sex yet. The farthest they’ve gone is makeouts with some heavy petting, shirts off but bras on. It’s not that either of them want to wait, the timing has just been wrong. Everytime they feel like taking the next step something interrupts them. But not tonight.

Lexa gently lifts Clarke’s sweatshirt off. Neither girl was planning for this to get so heated. They truly thought they were going to spend the night pigging out and watching movies. Hell, Lexa’s parents were home. But then Grace and Mark, Lexa’s parents, decided they wanted to go on a cute Friday night date. Now Clarke and Lexa are alone.

Lexa lifts Clarke’s sweatshirt off and pleasantly finds no bra. Lexa gasps out. “Clarke.”

“I thought we were just watching movies. I wanted to be comfy.” Clarke bites her lips and shrugs. Her nipples are already hard. Lexa’s jaw is on the floor at this point. She can feel her core tingling.

“Can I kiss you..there?” Lexa asks softly and excitedly. Clarke nods eagerly.

“Yeah..yes you can.” Clarke mumbles out hotly. Lexa starts gently kissing Clarke’s chest. Clarke sighs out in pleasure and pulls her girlfriend’s face closer to her nipples. Lexa smiles before licking and sucking on Clarke’s breasts. Clarke lets out an obscene moan.

“Wow..I...keep doing that. It feels nice.” Clarke whisper moans out. Lexa kisses and sucks Clarke’s large breasts for quite sometime. She just can’t get enough. 

Soon enough, Lexa’s shirt and bra are shed too and it’s Clarke’s turn to pay reverence to Lexa’s beautiful breasts. They kiss and grind and touch each other intimately like nobody else has. They’be both virgins.

Lexa dated a bit before Clarke. She dated this girl Costia for a few months her freshman year of highschool. Clarke was on 12 and Lexa was about 14, 15. Her body was pumping with all these hormones and everyone was pairing off like cats in heat during her freshman year. Costia asked her out and she said yes.

It was an odd time for her and Clarke. Clarke was 12 and still in a phase that Lexa had outgrown. They were still close but it was definitely an odd time for them.

Costia and her never had sex, mainly because Lexa didn’t want to. She didn’t feel ready and felt she was too young. They kissed a lot though, sometimes with their shirts off. Sometimes Costia would messily grind down on Lexa’s leg and leave red angry hickies on her neck. Lexa ended things because she just wasn’t feeling the spark. The don’t talk much now but they’re on good terms.

After Costia, there was Harper when Lexa was 16. Her and Harper made out at a party twice. Harper asked Lexa to ‘go upstairs and have some fun’ both times but Lexa politely refused. She just didn’t feel that spark. 

Both girls have only ever felt that spark with each other. So now both girls are naked from the top up. Bare breasts rubbing up against each other. Sweaty foreheads touching as Lexa removes Clarke’s pants and underwear. And it feels so fucking right. And suddenly both girls are so glad they waited. Because now they can share their first times with the love of their life. Now they can give a part of themselves they’ve never shared before, to one another. And it’s messy and sweaty and absolutely fucking beautiful.

“Are we going to have sex?” Clarke blurts out and Lexa’s eyes widen.

“I thought..I mean...we totally don’t have to..” Lexa rambles out awkwardly. 

“No! I want to. I really really want you to make love to me.” Clarke smiles and Lexa’s heart starts beating fast when Clarke says “make love.”

“I want that too Clarke.” Lexa says sincerely. The brunette pulls Clarke in for a kiss and feels the blonde’s hands run down her abs and to tie of her sweatpants. Lexa gently stops her and Clarke looks down at her in confusion.

“Our first time isn’t going to be on a couch.” Lexa says sweetly. “I’m going to carry you to my room.”

Clarke nods and Lexa lifts up her love, with Clarke wrapping her legs around her girlfriend. Clarke gently places soft kisses on Lexa’s neck as Lexa carries them to her bedroom. Lexa doesn’t bother turning on her lights, only flipping on her string lights. The room is dimly light, just enough for it to be romantic and to see each other.

“God, I fucking love you.” Lexa murmurs out, settling on top of Clarke. She pulls down her own sweats and underwear and kicks them off all the way.

Lexa kisses Clarke soundly, hands roaming. Clarke’s hand finds it’s way to Lexa’s folds, slowly exploring the newfound wetness gathering there. Lexa moans out and her hips jerk.

“Is that okay?” Clarke mumbles out nervously. Lexa nods fast with her eyes closed, enjoying this new feeling.

“Yes.” Lexa croaks out.

Clarke starts softly rubbing Lexa’s folds. She tries to find the clit. Fuck, she wishes she read up more on this. Clarke rubs Lexa until the brunette moans loudly again.

“Right there Clarke!” Lexa whispers desperately. “Please right there again.”

Clarke rubs and rubs in tight circles. Lexa’s face falls into Clarke’s neck, mumbling expletives and pressing lazy kisses to the overheated skin she finds. Lexa’s body starts to tense up and her breathing becomes erratic.

“Oh my god.” Lexa mumbles as her hips wildly jerk at the sensation. “I think..oh!” Lexa moans out. “I think I’m going to have an orgasm soon Clarke.” Lexa moans out, her body moving on its own. 

“Want me to keep going?” Clarke asks and Lexa moans loudly.

“Please don’t..god just don’t stop!” Lexa moans, rubbing herself roughly against Clarke’s fingers. Lexa’s comes quickly, without Clarke even putting one finger in her. The brunette moans out her love for the blonde as she comes. 

Once it’s over, Lexa nuzzles happily into Clarke’s embrace. “Mmm.” Lexa hums and Clarke laughs. They lay in peaceful silence for a few minutes until Lexa lifts her head up and kisses Clarke lovingly. The rest of the night is soft and loving. Both girls come some more from each other's tongues and fingers. It’s a night of exploratory touches and rubbing. It’s everything for them. 

And this time..there were certainly no interruptions.

+++

_Present Day_

“Miller! I need to see Detective Miller!” Lexa calls out desperately while she runs into the station.

“Lexa.” Miller calls from his office, beckoning her in.

“What is the development? Did you find her?! Did you find Clarke?!” Lexa calls out forcefully. Miller remains tight lipped. “Come on, tell me! Goddamnit!”

“Look, this information isn’t suppose to be going out to the public. I’m telling you because you’re my friend but you can’t flip out and start demanding things, Lexa. I can lose my job. Or get kicked off the case..which is officially no longer considered a cold case by the way.”

Lexa’s eyes widen and her heart beats fast. God, she can only pray that Miller hasn’t found a body.

“Tell me please.” Lexa’s voice cracks. Miller looks at her sadly and nods.

“We picked up a man last night. His name is Roan Azgeda.” Miller says slowly. Lexa nods.

“He is part of the biggest gang in Nevada. They work primarily in Las Vegas, but this is his hometown so sometimes he comes and visits his mother. When he does, crime rates always kick up. We have never been able to nab him..until last night.” Miller continues and Lexa is on the edge of her seat. How does this connect to her Clarke. 

“He was seen with two women in a grocery store...now the girls were in bad shape Lex. I gotta tell you that.” Miller says softly and Lexa’s knuckles turn white with how hard she’s gripping her seat. She’ll rip this Roan fuck apart if he touched her Clarke.

“Spit it out, Miller.”

“He seems to have been under the influence of some drugs. He bought some groceries for his mother and was smoking outside in the parking lot when some high school kids started calling out at one of his girls. Roan got agitated and started fighting the three boys. One of the boys pulled out a knife and nicked Roan’s arm. Roan pull out his gun and shot him. The kid is in critical condition right now.” Miller says angrily.

“You’re probably wondering what this has to do with Clarke.” Miller says and Lexa shakes her head yes. “Well one of the girls with him, her name is Octavia Blake, started talking as soon as she got in here. She says that Roan has a lot of girls, most of them for his trafficking ring..but he has a favorite who he never lets anyone touch. This favorite matches Clarke’s description. She even has that star tattoo.” Miller says softly. Lexa’s eyes widen. Clarke… they found her! Lexa barely can breathe. 

“Where is she?! Miller, is she here?!” Lexa screams out, trying to fly out of his office and towards the holding cells.

“Lexa! What did I tell you about being calm?!” Miller whispers to her. “Sit down. I’m not finished with the story.”

Lexa reluctantly sits down.

“Roan calls her Eliza. Sometimes kidnappers change the people’s names. He apparently is very protective of Eliza. Roan has a son from a previous girlfriend, who is in prison for life. Blake claims that Eliza is in charge of taking care of this boy. His name is Roger and he’s a little over five. Roger calls Eliza his mom. Octavia says that Eliza doesn’t talk about her past much. She’s not even sure if the girl remembers it. All Octavia knows is that Eliza told her she was kidnapped about five years ago because Roan couldn’t deal with raising a child. Apparently Eliza reminded Roan of his ex and figured she would be a good match for raising Roger.”

“Stop calling her Eliza! Her name is Clarke.” Lexa grits out.

“We don’t know if it’s Clarke yet, Lexa.” Miller states. “We think there’s a good chance it could be but..”

“It’s her! Please, Miller. I need you to get her. Where is she?!” Lexa says desperately, tears streaking down her face.

“That’s the problem, Lex. She’s in Vegas. That’s out of our jurisdiction.” Miller sadly informs.

“It’s not out of mine. Give me the address. I’ll get her.” Lexa wipes her tears away.

“Lexa..I can’t give you that information.” Miller says firmly. “We are doing our best to..”

“Bullshit! You gave up on her! Everyone did! I was the only one who kept looking!’ Lexa screams out. “Why did you call me here, if not to give me this information?! It’s out of your hands? Well fine, I’ll take care of it. You can just leave to go grab us two coffees and happen to leave the file on your desk. That’s it Miller. I know how this works. Please, I can’t lose her.” Lexa begs desperately. Miller sighs and curses.

“I’ll be right back.” Miller mumbles defeatedly, leaving the file open on his desk. As soon as he closes the door, Lexa scrambles to find the address. She scribbles it down as well as any other information she might need. Then she leaves. 

She’s going to Las Vegas. She’s going to go get her Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do you guys think? anything you guys want to see?

**Author's Note:**

> This fic will have a lot of angst. Please be aware of that. But happy ending will eventually come.


End file.
